I just listened to the first of the shift network’s “Winter of Wellness” series. What a ride; the guest happens to be a conventionally trained M.D. (www.elliottdacher.org) who has moved beyond that form of healing. Someone else like me, out there!
He focused on meditation as a much needed tool for our Winter of Wellness. Listen for yourself, by signing up for the series (free!) here: www.winterofwellness.com
What struck me about this first program was the timing. I just spent Sunday in Brooklyn, attending a memorial service for a 21 year old. This young man died in a hiking accident 11 days earlier. The challenge that this death presented to four different communites of friends/ family was huge. What I witnessed in the coming together of communites was profound.
Due to the quality and complexity of his life, Muslims were brought together with African-American Christians to mourn his loss. Pagans danced with Jews, in a mother’s dance of grief, release, and acceptance. Circle process was used to create a space to share from the heart, where a neighbor was able to tearfully reminisce about meeting this beautiful soul many years ago, while simultaneously confessing that that meeting was actually harrassing (goading for a fight) and homophobic. Another youth shared the peak experience of hiking with our departed one, and seeing the most beautiful sunset of his life. Stories of heart, and healing.
There was tension between the Seventh Day Adventist members of the step-dad’s family, who wanted to call an ambulance when the step-dad finally, after being strong and contained for days, opened his heart to his grief. The counter-culture dance community members preferred breathwork and emotional release techniques. But we all got along, and we were able to fold ourselves together despite differences. Four hundred people came together to grieve this sudden and unexpected loss.
I was quite astonished to hear the webcast today conclude with a parable about a mother who had lost her child. The story went that the wise elder of the community gave this grieving woman an assignment; she was to travel through the village to find someone who had NOT suffered. Of course, she came back with stories of much suffering; some even greater than her own. The exercise had left her with more peace and a feeling that tragedy too is a part of life.
A very painful part of life. I leave the reader with Dr. Dacher’s final prescription to make our lives healthier:
“Find a place of peace and quiet for yourself. Realise others are suffering as well. Come back (from your own suffering) and do loving and kind things for someone else… open the mind and the heart will open”
I give witness that this formula works, and can grow us into better human beings.
